new unit = new life?

YES new life, but im gonna be doing the same over and over again for next two years.

do what? ho ho, not giving presents of course.

i will be 'ensuring discipline and security within the army premises and upholding the military law through the seven core values of the SAF.'

you must be thinking woah, isnt that a prestiguous job in the SAF. the quoted sentence above is what we call 'WAYANG' in the army, make something out of nothing.

Singaporeans are good at it, and in the army people are extremely good at mastering this skill of wayang.

lets say a normal march to the cookhouse for lunch and someone gives the timing of ,'left right left right'(people in uniform groups will know). a normal person will keep the timing at a very normal normal pace, nothing different to any other timings. as for a person who wayangs, he does it in a very loud and 'trying to act' tone. nothing wrong with that but as time passes we get irritated easily.

back to main topic, but yeah that was a sort of wayang we see in the army.

being the nice 'WAYANG' quote it is, another way to describe my job scope in a not so 'youknowwhat' way is, a stationary sercurity personnel whose job is to stand and guard the entrance or any forbidden areas. i meant stand there and you dont do anything but guard. i detest doing no-brainer stuffs like that-one of the main reasons im feeling emo about.

i will still get through this and while standing, i shall do something else productive, perhaps learn to sing songs or pick up a new language, i stand to benefit though. i never have problems about making new friends in a new unit and i just hope they would be nice people. they are the ones im gonna be with for next two years.

i miss XD guides, AMKP mcdonald's, and many more.

im so hoping its gonna be over but yet it just the beginning and tml will it only start. ive always stayed positive, no question about that. i shall do the same and be the smiley terence as before!

i went to visit her, got some stuffs back and it was rather awkward with her presence around. chat would have been better if she wouldn't working, maybe i came wrong time. she seemed happy, more make-up than ever and a lil plump which made her prettier(to me at least).

honestly i missed her, my mindset changed during NS and it helped me get over her faster, but not all. first love is something we are talking about and it isnt easy to forget at all. im able to know and adapt being a single now but at times i still want someone to love and dote me.

the RIGHT ONE, when will she come?

im in NS and the more she wouldnt appear for two years. im going to be so lonely. (EMO EMO EMO). im letting out and i hope the readers dont mind please. you can never find any EMO-ess when youre right next to me, we would keep talking about crap and happy stuffs and EMO stuffs i leave it to my own and personal ways of handling them. one thing for sure, you can never not smile when im around!

thats me!

so looking forward to go unit tml and yeah, gotta spend family time now! see ya!

a day to look forward to...

a day to look forward to... but it comes after 2 years.

civilian life that is!


anyway army been a great time for me, at least enjoyable watching how the army work in training boys into basic soldiers before moving to even more advanced ones.

in my early posts regarding my goal in becoming an officer or sergeant.

i made a choice, and my answer is no.

simply because this three months of basic military training have sufficiently equipped me with the knowledge i need to know as a soldiers, and being combat-ready is not really what im good at.

here's what im good at:
-the hospitality industry
-ability to assist people with any issues
-giving my beautiful smile to people to knowing i made their day
-lots more

all these may not be of any relevance to the army but im started a liking into being a CCI.

CCI=Close Combat Instructor.

someone who teaches soilders on basic defence tactics, intermediate and advanced as we move on as advanced soldiers.

i always have an interest in fighting and close combat.
WWE, was my fav show ever since i was 5 years old or younger, and guess who always watches it with me? who else, its my granny! now this reminds me the day we went to watch WWE LIVE in the indoor stadium with my granny and siblings, and i cried at the end of it.
not because of the violence, but because it was so late and we couldn't catch a taxi. i was so afraid i had to sleep on the streets and therefore i cried.

how silly.

anyway, i expressed my interest in becoming a CCI and thus had to say no to command school, which is rather risky. if i dont make it to CCI, i will become a man(an advanced soldier commanded under an officer and sergeant), which mean i have to go through the tough amount training the officers and sergeants do but recieve lesser privileges.

what could be more worst than this?

all i can do is to cross my fingers and await for my posting after my POP(Passing Out Parade).

i had the biggest surprise of my army journey on 261109, it was my 16KM route march in my full battle order(integrated body vest, rifle, and field pack). lets say the whole package weighed 15KG+. imagine the time given to march was from 1.30pm to 9pm and we had to march through different terrains like rocks and mud pools. worst is, i was made the IC(In-Charge) for that march!

all i can say is, 'im glad its over, and im shagged.'

im happy that i was given the chance to become the IC, and not everyone does. maybe i showed my leadership a little obvious which i intended to hide just to not be pushed into command school. i guess my past job experience and exposure enabled me to lead, eg. CCA Chairman and Mcdonald's Crew Leader.

everyone liked me, some didn't, few loved me, none hated me.

it was good, and all good!

most of the time ive been thinking of my family, they are the ones that kept me going, esp for my 16km march.

my friends of course, were not neglected.

i will make up time for them after my POP 081209.

can't wait but what dreads me most is before POP there will be a 24KM route march.

how is that looking forward, laugh out loud.


im down with running nose, and stomach kept grumbling.

i need an extended rest this weekend!

is life meaningful or supposed to be?

'ARE YOU SHAGGED?!', shouted by the sergeants to the soldiers(after a 4km road march with backpack, vest, gun, helmet and your boots. we had to reply 'NO SERGEANT' so as not to get more punishments than what we are already doing.

this is something definately not very humane to people who appreciate and enjoy life like clubbing, slacking at home and studying. they force you to do things beyond your limits.

the end results? nice body, tanned, fit. better chances for those whom with no girlfriends, so that includes me. well, not time yet, perhaps after my NS. men are after all men, as i observed in the army. all kinds of jokes can come out, from different races and religion, to how men and women actually 'interact' if you know what i mean. is this what men displays and what other people think about them? although im a man myself but im not like the typical kind. im different. when you know me, you will understand what i mean. i feel left out when i know im not exactly like them, but i feel good when i know at least im not like them whom girls like to critisize, 'stupid men, all bad eggs'.

confusion surrounds my mind, as always. thinking whether i should be myself or be someone that people want me to be. i live life, i live only once. i should live it with no regrets, and possibly no mistakes.

at least life is at suspense now, two years of pause for me to think and contemplate over what i want to do in future, perhaps for the next few years.

booking in at 2015, for the next six days i will be in camp and this routine gonna last for two more months, and my future in the SAF is unknown. whether i go to command school or not, i have to work for it.

having a cough since last week in tekong, unwell. friends and family told me to go to the doctor's, but i didnt. its a mere sickness that will heal soon, i hope. hate it when i cough, especially during PT, march and worst, at night when sleeping. not only me, but my mates are feeling the same too. i had to get well in order to perform at my max, im most of the time struggling. its a suffer some times.

i have a dream, that is to travel all around the world. to see the world, explore and discover. so many places, but still where got money? i have to earn them some day.

by the time you read till here, you might be annoyed by the stucture of my post, very disorganized. exactly, im not at my best and i hope you wouldn't mind.

seriously, i miss my friends. all of you, so very much.

i was happy and touched by my granny last week. here is what happened: i live on the 13th floor of HDB flat. we dry our clothes outside using bamboo poles and so happens one of the pole which my army towel and clothes were attached to dropped due to the strong wind, and it lended on a one storey high platform that was used for construction. obviously my granny couldn't reach it, but she was more anxious than me becoz if i were to lose any of my army items, i will get charged. i still remember it was in the morning when the wind came, she was cooking and i was slacking watching TV. she told me to go get them using the ladder, i was lazy and told her i will do it later. she persist saying it will not be good for me should anyone steal them. i was ignorant, and she said, 'hey, i go down with you, and i carry the ladder for you.' this sentence stroke me in the head, i immediately went down and without any ladder i managed to take the pole down.
which grandma in this world will want to carry the ladder for me, just to prevent my from getting charged in army. she was cooking and she had to worry about this for me when im the rightful person to be responsible. thank you granny.


alot of people i want to see, hug. kiss, miss, and love.


life can be meaningful, and not meaningful. the choice is in my hands!

take care for now.

adapting a non-civilian life.

hmmm, what to say?

theres so many things to share with you on the past one and half weeks in tekong 'paradise'.

anyway, i shall organise the contents by talking about:
-the day i went in
-ordinary army life.
-book-out day.
-my off-days.
-personal felts on current events happening in my life.


the day i went in: in the end my mummy, granny and cousin sent me off. my friends sent me text of concerns and the night before i called almost every friend i could and it was nice to know they all cared. i was mentally prepared, knowing that army is something you must follow and not be a hero or rebel orelse you stand to lose in the end. do not be. i would like to thank my friends for all the advice and my ex-workplace singapore discovery centre for educating me on this. had lunch and last meal with them before i fell in with the other parents' sons to go collect our stuffs and confinement of one and half weeks in a paradise known as 'tekong'. i couldn't bear, but i have to and i did it bravely. thanks for being there family!


ordinary army life: whatever information im going to say here is detailed 50%, the other half goes into classified(which means information that are not suppose to be leaked to the public via internet and other public means for it will jeopardise the nation defence in every way possible).

first day, got my field pack and duffel bag, that included all the stuffs i need for army, not forgetting a gillette fusion power shaver with extra trimmer blades. getting into my bunk, twelve people staying in one. im lucky to be staying on the 2nd floor(imagine if i had to climb up five floors), and being issued bed number two. had to wake up five am everyday, doing lots of PT(physical training), marching, foot drills under the hot bright sun, a water parade was what it needed to hydrate ourselves beyond point of thirst and to assist us in drenching the shirts we wear, and most interestingly the army songs.. everyday was like this, except for times we had to train our chin-ups, ran alot and go for road marches with our full vest+helmet on. the food was surprisingly good, we had generous amount of rice, veggies, meat(mostly nothing but chickens), soup, desserts and a fruit of choice. i personally felt they treated us really well, and i couldnt accept that. army is suppose to be a no-choice thing with everything else no choice too, but we could still choose our fruits. im being evil here coz i think that will not make us as strong as if we were treated like shit. anyway, they took gd care of us, for any unwell symptons you may have, just gotta report and you are excused from the exercise(of course it must be a genuine report orelse we might end up getting charged).
particulary on the last day before we book out, we had a road march of 3 km with our stuffs on, after which we had PT exercise and just imagine the fatigue we had to endure. we did it in the rain, luckily coz i wouldnt want to be sweating under the sun. the rain was good, just that we got soaked really wet, my underwear too! we had first aid tests, and a stand-by bed(where we had to arrange our cardboards in a neatly fashion, uniforms folded properly, the area spick-and-span and clear of debris, lastly the bed to be tuck-in properly and shoes to be polished. i guess it was really tough work coz however well we did, we still got f--ked.
oh yes, i would say we mastered the art of vuglarities in the army.
we all had a girlfriend, or rather a wife, our very own rifle. we are suppose to keep it securely and bring it everywhere we go including the toilet. thus, we have to remember that we are no longer a civilian for now, but a soldier that will up hold and protect our country with our lives.


book-out day: 4.30pm we left tekong on a jetty, and i smiled when i saw my platoon mates and every other NSF(national-service freshmen, a name we are recognized by) running to the jetty with a delightful and kiddy behavior, knowing that that could all book-out and go home. in the jetty it self, we mimicked every sergeant and PT instructor on the words they say and it was all funny and fun. i know im happy inside, and i kept humble, knowing its a two long years to go through and its just the beginning. was surprised that sam and serena called, asking me to go out for dinner at suntec food fair, and i did once i got home. comments from my family and friends when they saw me was, 'wah, you so tanned and black, i couldnt recognize you', 'now you look stronger, your flabby arms no more', 'i think after a few more weeks you will look really good, alot of girls will come after you'. thats cool, and my family couldn't stop asking me how it went in the army. being a diploma holder, i was in the leadership batch where i stand a chance to become a sergeant or even an officer provided i fit the criteria. what worries me most is my physics for now, i couldnt do a chin-up for nuts. anyway, went to eat at the food fair, and walked around suntec and took a straight bus home. felt the fatigue and really needed to sleep.


my off-days: went out to the istana on sunday with peirong and family, had a great time and i thought her family was really sweet and nice, they were always in conversation with each other and it was nice to listen to them. they treated me lunch and i am grateful. went home and slept the whole day, waking every few hours to pee and slept again.. till this morning and here i am writing this post. come to think of it, time proves to be short coz tonight im booking in again. whatever time im given, i try to make the best out of it and my health is priority for now. friends, don't worry coz i will go out with you one day, at least once i promise. i miss all of you.


-personal felts on current events happening in my life:
1)ive this feeling that im going to miss sleeping with eleven other men in a single bunk, eh you know what i meant okay. yeah, its gonna be a memorable moment where i enjoyed with tears, sweat and fun. so as always, im going to make the best out of it and push myself as far as i can go.
2)two years, how long is it going to be? it would be year 2011 by the time i ORD and wonder what to do after that, IR? circus clown? childcare teacher? sign-on NSmen? mcdonald's?
3)life's better in a way now, forgotten quite a few saddening things and more to look for in the future. full of surprises and i will take them when they come. for now, clearly i want to enjoy life. im so sure i couldn't cope with additional responsibilties besides taking care of me, my family and friends. i shall see how it goes.
4)i hope to attend OCS(Officer Cadet School), at least this two years will prove to be meaningful, as it reflects my attitude(doing the best i can). its never easy but im training for it, my heart and soul. someday, i will step up to be the timer(the one who shouts, 'left, left, left right left') as i believe its the first step to enable me to lead a group of soldiers. some of my friends are calling me stupid on why would i rather suffer when i could slack and not be shagged. i want to achieve something meaningful within this two years and make myself, and not forgetting my parents proud.
5)family, you need not have to worry about me, i know how to take care of myself, and in any case if i don't i will find a way out. i always have this dream, of going to a foreign and isolated country, to be lost there... and eventually i will find a way out. crazy? yeah very, but it makes me stronger. lets not go to the 'what ifs' regarding this issue. yeah, whenever i go, whatever i do, i never fail to think of you. thats one important factor that keeps me going.
6)friends, as always i cherish each and everyone of you and your concerns. cant wait to go out to have fun. its going to be a two long years, a win-win situation is that when i could achieve what i want in the SAF, i could still go out and chill with all of you. time is clicking and very soon it will happen.



there are actually more to say, but for now i think this is good. i slept well, and soon im checking into my bunk without my bolster beside me, but my wife will stand by me everyday so lets look on the bright side. awaiting for more PT to do, and the feeling of sweat flowing like water from head to toe is missed. looking forward to my next book-out day, which is also a trip to my ex workplace singapore discovery centre. hope to see my colleagues soon, miss them so much.


i love you guys, REC C L SEAH is going to report for NS, so take care all of you! wait patiently for my next post.


P.S. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

a lesson on nation's defence.

and that is something im gonna study, learn and be involved with for the next two years of my life.

had swensens with the whole family. felt sad knowing that i had to leave them behind becoz of a compulsory obligation. oh yes, i had my head shaved... cleanly. a hair style known as number 2. i looked like any other NS man you see on the streets now. i really like the look on me, thought it was better than i expected(round and big head). well give me two weeks in NS, i will look like a complete non-chinese. friends joked at me, that i should try finding a tamil girlfriend. im open to a wide range of choices, well if the right one comes by and she so happens to be a tamil, why not.
i still remember the best word to describe how i look, the word is 'distinctive'(thanks nady adik for the wonderful choice of word).
after i went home, called almost every friend i had, to talk to them. im so afraid we might lost contact till the day we become strangers. im not one that likes to neglect my friends, maybe thats why im in fear of that happening.

but of course, talked to alot of friends when i got home until now. could have chatted longer but i had to ensure i get enough sleep for tml's big day.

thank you family, thank you friends.

i love all of you so much.
please keep in touch and take good care, coz you know i always think of all of you!

gdnite darlings, my next post would be in one and half weeks time, till then take care!


p.s. oh yes, regarding my bald head, will let you guys see soon! i looked like that guy from prison break when i don't smile.

090909, and a day more.

its the 9th of septemeber 2009. what a nice date to do many things, like going out with friends, marriage, pinic by the beach etc...
for me, im glad to spend it with my family, and the next day im enlisted to the ARMY, at PULAU TEKONG BESAR(didn't know it even had an address).

im loss for words. don't know how to react. thought of writing a blog entry just in case i couldn't later on. yeah, i guess i never know how its like unless i experience it first-hand, early morning tml at 8.30am.

im gonna be fine! ive told myself, last few months back that i wouldn't feel family-sick when i go in, and i will be strong being alone with my bunk mates.
now all that seemed to change, just one day before. im nervous, sad and worried of many things running through my head.

army is like a paradise, a getaway from school and working life in singapore(always look on the bright side). yes its in a way a benefit to me where i can build my body up, my character and know more friends.
i guess, im in fear of being too busy with NS life, thus neglecting my family and losing contacts with my friends.
to all my family and friends, im also in fear that you will worry about me in NS, concerns such as 'is the food suiting for you?', 'when you cant take it dont over-exert yourself?'. rest assured, i will be fine on all these. one for all, all for one. i will try not to be the first or last, at least im safer that way. cant wait to see the different kinds of people who are living together in this same country with me. its going to be so fun.

im really loss for words now, perhaps i write another post when i come back from dinner later. its weird, mixed emotions.

lets see whether im ready for a botak haircut after dinner.

festive night.

had a rather lonely day at home, alone once again.

days to NS are approaching... part of me looking forward, part of me cant bear to go. im mentally prepared for it, not so for the physical part.

went out with fazi! to watch a movie, 'i love beth cooper'. honestly it was one of the first movies i actually enjoyed the most, esp with a friend. im sure she noticed me laughing every now and then. the movie was inspirational in a way where it say 'you never know life unless youre living it'. to all YOUNG PEOPLE in this world, please enjoy life as much as you can, coz when you grow old, you cant do as much as you can at this age. trust me.
after the movies, went to break-fast at cineleisure-pastamania w fazi. never had a gd impression of the restaurant coz the first time i ate it, the pasta was hard as rubber, and it was soapy like it had been soaked into water for the longest time, the sauce was not mixed well with the pasta, wrong order, and it came really late. take note, its the pastamania at FUNAN IT Mall, fazi had similar bad experience there too. however, i thought that cineleisure-pastamania provided better service, and tastier food too. gonna try the store at harborfront one day as fazi said its her favourite.
happened to saw my mcdonald's colleagues there, namely jacklyne, weiting, yiru, hsuan lin. we took a picture, was excited and happy to see them, at least before i go NS.
soon after fazi and i proceeded to geylang serai BAZZAAR. went around, hoping to get lost but we didn't. bought the most famous putu piring in singapore. surprisingly the queue consisted all chinese people when we bought them. was delighted to see chinese and other races doing some shopping around geylang serai, they makes the festive day more colorful in that sense. bought tapioca chips too. it was my first time roaming around geylang serai during its most peak period and there were less people than i expected, which was good so at least we do not have to squeeze through the crowd. went off as soon as we covered the whole of the BAZZAAR. thank you fazi, for the wonderful informative answers from the the many many weird questions asked by me. i knew more about the malay culture in a way today. didn't know the kebaya, one of the cheapest i saw was at $60.00, what's more its after discount. i always feel that women who wear kebaya are really beautiful! that will be one of the wedding costume my wife has to wear on our wedding day by hook or crook, orelse she will be cooked! day ended as we went back home together by train. great to have fazi around as company. would be looking forward to our next outing when im botak. whatever it is fazi, i hope you absorbed the postives from me, and don't forget to cheer up every day! do not be too nice, too much of a good thing is not a good thing after all... something i learnt from experience.

would like to thank a few people today.

-fazi, for the great company and your time. i was very happy discovering the streets of geylang serai with you, what's more i remembered the cookies you baked, sangat sedap seh! lets exchange cookies one day soon. anyway, youre a great person, you deserve far more better and there are better things for you to care about. always remember that, and this(when you left redpea, i felt as if redpea vanished. your presence has always been felt) too.
-ciyue, for the great chat online. i know youre feeling abit confused and troubled but you seemed to be on the right track, and im glad my 'potatoe field story' inspired you to move on. i will upload the story one day, to remind everyone that we don't be afraid to start loving again when the right time, the right person come.
-nana, who had always been there for me when i was lonely. i will appreciate her as much as i can and here is something to share from her blog,

'terence korkor !im really gonna miss you now that youre gonna go to NS;tekong paradise . i really cant wait to meet you ! even thought you're gonna be in on thursday but dun worry ! i'll msg you everynow and then to make sure you're doing great . i really gonna miss you advice-ing me and calling me adik and your curly hair ! woohoo ! haha . cheer up and be happy always aites :] !'

she misses my curly hair... and perhaps im gonna cut it tml coz heard from my bro that the 'hairdresser' cut anyhow and its better i go cut it before i go in.

im gonna miss my curly hair too!

my family, my friends... and everyone else whom i miss.

its not going to be easy, and i hope i will be fine.